Confidence - When a Breakup Breaks More Than Your Heart

Ceri Davies
Jun 10
2 min read

I was reading an article the other day that said:“79% of women say they lack confidence at work.”

And it stopped me in my tracks. Because that number is huge. But also… it didn’t surprise me.

It got me thinking: When did I lose mine?

It wasn’t in work.

Not really. People have tried but it didn’t go missing during a performance review or a presentation or a scary meeting. I lost my confidence the day someone I cared about acted like I didn’t matter.

We’d been seeing each other for a while, close, intense, always together. Then one night, I overheard her say to a group of friends that I was “just some girl who fancied her.”

Like I’d imagined the whole thing. Like none of it had been real. And in that moment, I felt something inside me sink.

Because it wasn’t just about love. It was about being seen. Being respected. And suddenly I didn’t trust my own judgment anymore. Had I made it all up? Was I not enough? Was I too much?

Breakups do that.

They don’t just break your heart. They break your self-trust. Your belief in your worth. They make you doubt your instincts. And you carry that into other parts of your life—without even realising it.

I see it all the time in the women I coach.

Women who say:

“I haven’t felt like myself since.”
“They said I was amazing, but they still left.”
“I feel like I lost something I can’t get back.”

But here’s the truth: you can get it back.

And when you do—it’s not a whisper. It’s a bang. A hell yes kind of energy. The moment you remember who you are. The day you stop shrinking to make other people comfortable. The first time you trust yourself again.

I’ve rebuilt my confidence piece by piece, through healing, reflection, support, and saying yes to myself more than anyone else. It was slow. It was painful at times. I questioned everything. I lost my footing more than once.

But along the way, I also had these huge, wild opportunities. To disappear into places like Singapore, India, South Africa. To go so far away from what hurt me that I could begin to find who I really was.

And now?

Now I use 15 years of leadership, personal development, and real-life experience to help fast-track the women around me. Because I know what it’s like to feel lost—and I know what’s possible when you find your way back.